- Who is the Pink Elephant?
- The Pink Elephant is who the girl elephants want to be and the guy elephants
want to be with.
- What does she want?
- She wants everybody to have more, better sex. From discussions with her friends
she realized that many of them were stuck with their partners in boring
routines - missionary, woman on top, doggy style, repeat. Plenty of instructional
material is out there, but few people ever take the time to study sex. That's
a shame, since mere hours of reading and thinking about how to improve one's
sex life will make a noticable difference in its quality. And when their sex
life is going well people are much calmer and kinder. This website is designed
to be funny, friendly, and informative: it's the Pink Elephant's way of making
people happier and the world a better place.
- Where are your legal documents?
- For technical and legal information, please read our terms of service
- How does the cowboy get his pants off?
- You mean without removing his boots? We're not entirely sure, and we're not
really comfortable asking. You could try, though. While you're at it, ask
the professor if he ever removes his bow tie and tell the pirate to be careful
where he swings that sword.
- Where do you find all these positions?
- A variety of places, ranging from the ancient Kama Sutra to more modern sources
like Wikipedia and Google. We scour books, magazines, and newspapers.
We watch instructional videos. Sometimes we have a glass of wine with dinner
and invent new positions later that night.
- I just heard about a great position / technique / secret lovemaking wondermove. Why don't you have it?
- We're constantly adding new content to Pink Elephant Dance and are always
looking for more. If there's something you think should be shared
with classy couples everywhere, then send us an email at email@example.com and we'll try to include it in our next update.
- How did you get to be so good at sex?
- By practicing with an open-minded partner. By talking openly and honestly about
turn-ons and turn-offs. By studying and reading and thinking about sex. By wanting
to get better and putting in the effort to become so.
- How do I get to be good at sex?
- Presumably, the same way everyone does: practice. Practice, creativity, and an open mind.
We also can't emphasize enough the importance of finding a long-term partner
who is sensitive to your needs. Couples have time to learn about each other's
desires together in a way that one-night stands never can. With a partner it's
possible to try something new without embarrassment, to discuss what worked and what didn't,
and to try it again and again until you get it right. As your sexual competence builds
you'll feel even more comfortable and have even more fun. It's a virtuous cycle that
will leave you upside-down and diagonal on the living-room sofa, panting and satisfied.
- I want to see doggy style being done by a robot and a dinosaur. Whom do I tell?
- We're always adding new costumes to Angel and Tabitha's
fantasy wardrobe. Pirate, librarian, businessman, and secretary are there now. Maybe
robot and dinosaur will be next. If you have a particular fantasy you'd love to see
enacted here, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll try to satisfy you.
- What's brown and sticky?
- A stick.